Jareth the Goblin King

Hailing from a land not known in the current multiverses, Jareth is an eight-thousand and twenty seven eons old dildo collector and tax evader. His trademark is a piping hot spoon he uses to melt mozzarella and burn the eyes of his enemies and that one asshole who stole his newspaper. He was the Egyptian Ambassador for the Suez Crisis Peace Negotiation, mostly due to his adroit abilities to play a pretty gosh darn mean saxophone solo. This decision however would lead to heartache, as he one night went on a Shirley Temple bender and urinated in the Sacred Chocolate Fountain. This lead to The Great Consumption of 1956, the catastrophic event which lead to Earth-M007's assimilation with it's moon. He was severely sorry and pleaded for forgiveness, but before his sins could be rectified and Jareth hanged, Rubber Johnny came to his aid and acted as an attorney for his trial. Years later in a state of fugue, he met his future Lover, after years of courting he proposed and they were wed.